My Life in Knots

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Our House...

which will not be located in the middle of the street...
Actually we're buying a home on the end of a block so its a side lot bordering a n access street, so very quiet and somewhat secluded.
The home I currently live in is my mothers house.; it was my grandparents home and where my mother and uncles grew up. When my grandfather passed away, after my grandmother, the home was left to my mother. My mother then took out a home equity on the house, that had no mortgage on it anymore, for over the appraised value of the home. How do you do that? Well she agreed to a non-escrowed mortgage at 14.7% interest. A month after she refinanced the home, her then boyfriend, stole all her money and skipped town. She could no longer afford the payments and all the money she borrowed was just stolen so she could afford no updates either.
This situation would have been easily solved by her filling a police report, but, no she couldn't do that, she loved him (insert eye roll here). At this time I was moving down to this area after spending about 10 years in Northern NY and Canada. I agreed to move into the home and help her make the payments with the stipulation this meant I was purchasing the home. She agreed and I sent her money to make her first payments. Instead of making these payments, she used the money for other things. She had rekindled her romance with the ex-boyfriend and hid this from me and was paying his bills off. I had no idea this was going on though as I was in the process of moving here and not listed on her mortgage to find out.
It took 4 months for me to finally move in as I was in college, traveling, have three kids to move over 300 miles and the like. I couldn't just up and leave due to the situation, but, we finally moved in.
Right after we moved in I asked to sit down with her and go over the taxes, water bill, utilities and the like. She said she would get these items together and we would have a discussion. It was put off and put off. Now if I had a 9-5 job and evenings free I could have pursued this more, but, I don't. I was working 2 jobs, going to a new college just a really busy life and I didn't feel my own mother would lie to me. You would also think my now ex could have handled some of this, but being the lazy ass he is, he simply never did a thing.
I finally pushed the matter enough and insisted we sit down and discuss things when I was informed she needed to declare bankruptcy due to all these bills and how her boyfriend had stolen everything. Now I still did not know they were seeing one another again; he never came to the home, called or anything and she was home nights, only every other weekend or so she would "go out with the girls". Her boyfriend not only took off with over $125,000 in cash he also stole her car, a computer, furniture, jewelry and as I would find out later he had taken 3 cars, more money, more jewelry and collectively in the past, in all over a million dollars in property and cash, all this she hid.
As she was filling chapter 13 bankruptcy I was served a notice of forclosure by her bank. Seems all those months I gave her money to pay the mortgage she didn't pay them a cent and the real reason she was declaring bankruptcy was to hide this. Now I was stupid and should have known better. I just really never imagined my own parent would lie to me like this. I had used my entire savings helping her pay the over inflated mortgage, get the taxes caught up on the home and get the utilities turned back on. I started moving and fronted all the money for needed repairs to move my children in. I was out of cash completely. She declared bankruptcy and I agreed to make the payments directly to the bank, actually I insisted, I wouldn't give her another cent, but, I could not be placed on the deed to the house because she was in bankruptcy and the trustee would not allow it. I had to wait until the bankruptcy ended in order to own the home.
It's my families home, over 2000 sq ft with a yard alone that's 50x150 with a pool and 2 car garage. Its in the best neighborhood in town, it basically wasn't a home I was willing to just go oh well and give up on. Its a good piece of real estate in a neighborhood I would love to live in. So I decided to stay, protect the investment I had already made and wait until the bankruptcy was up. I also had split with my ex who was taking me to court monthly for custody and the fact that I lived in a good neighborhood kept my children here to an extent.
Well this past summer my mother needed to sell her apartment building. It was in disrepair, she couldn't afford the utilities not to mention she was 6 years in arrears on taxes. She just doesn't pay any bills and to make matters worse she had moved the exboyfriend in there, allowed him to live there rent free, then he moved his friends in other apartments and months went by with her not getting rent from anyone. So she came out of bankruptcy to sell the apartment building, made the worst deal in the world and walked away with nothing. But, then the bank came after the house. She had since moved out of the house and all her mail was going elsewhere so again I was left in the dark to most of what was going on. I was so busy with 3 children, all in counseling due to the split with their father, in court bi-weekly at this point, with someone new and getting him caught up to everything going on, working full time, full time in college, volunteering full time.
Well we found out the bank was foreclosing this past September when they served my daughter with foreclosure papers. Up until this point she was saying she was re-entering bankruptcy protection. When I confronted her she said she was declaring chapter 7, meaning they would seize the house. What did she care? She didn't live here anymore so she really didn't care that her grandchildren and I were going to be thrown out and didn't even inform us it was going on. I actually didn't know she left bankruptcy protection to sell the apartment building.
She finally wrote her mortgage company to allow me access to the records and to try and discuss the situation with them so I could buy the home out right. I did so but the bank is convinced I want to buy the home on a short sale, paying them what's owed but not all their fees, only to get my mother out of debt. This couldn't be further from the truth as I barley speak to the woman now, I just didn't want to be homeless at Christmas. I have offered the bank now twice whets due on the loan and they refuse to sell me the home. They want another $45,000 on top of what I have offered and that's out of my budget and I wouldn't be able to afford the monthly payments.
I was left with no choice but to buy a new home. It's all a long drawn out story and such that I don't want to type at the moment, but, I am now engaged to a wonderful man, Mike, my children are with me and happy and healthy. I still have unwanted drama from their father, my mother and such but things are straightening out, finally!


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